Does The Illuminati Control Facebook?

#1 Facebook's All Seeing Eye

The Illuminati believe themselves to be the secret keepers of true enlightenment, and they use this "all seeing eye" to symbolize how they know way more than you do, and how you'll never even realize it because look it's right there, and you're still not seeing it! Well not anymore, Illuminati! Our eyes have also been opened, but this time our eye spies a secret satanic society bent on world dominance, and its favorite way of keeping the masses in check through the hypnotic allure of Facebook. Be careful folks. Things are about to get REAL.

#2 The F Factor

The "F" from the Free Mason Masonic Lodge looks eerily similar to the Facebook "F". Facebook has no shame. They brazenly taunt the public with their obvious symbolism. They say that all "F"s look the same. We say they are not created equal. We can say this with confidence given the amount of time we have spent downloading free Facebook style fonts. That is NOT a normal F.

#3 The Number 13

Just like the 13 families from which the Illuminati arise, there are 13 people depicted on the Facebook homepage. Could this be a random number chosen by some graphic designer because it looked nice? Or is this just another one of Facebook's sick clues into their secret agenda?

#4 A Sign From Washington D.C.

We all KNOW that the White House is located right at the tip of a of an inverted star, or PENTAGRAM formed out of fire and brimstone, and also the streets. Some would say that it might depend on which way you're looking at the star, but those people are obviously in on the conspiracy. If you look closely, you will also see a circle around the star-- even more pentagram-y. Sure, there's a piece missing on the right, but that's just to throw you off. The White House is MAD Satanic! And guess who just moved into a big fancy office just THREE MINUTES away from the White House? That's right, FACEBOOK.

#5 Pepsi's New "LIKE" Machine

Even Pepsi is involved in the Illuminati Facebook web of deception. Pepsi unveiled a brand new way of getting your diabetes on: The Like Machine. Simply "like" Pepsi on Facebook and get a FREE soda! Well, we know nothing is free in this world, and that goes for soda. So why give away free diabetes? Notice the Eye of Horus and Pyramid symbols in one of Pepsi's can designs. Coincidence? We think not! While you're selling your soul out for a 75 cent beverage, the Illuminati are using the Like Machine to track your every move, possibly putting you on a list of people to be exterminated when the rapture comes because you were too stupid to realize it wasn't worth it. May God help us all.

#6 The Enlightened Cut The Lights

And where exactly were these Like Machines used? The Pepsi Like Machines made their debut at various Beyonce concerts throughout the world. And we all know that Beyonce is secretly part of the Freemason division of the Illuminati. But what would the Illuminati want with Beyonce? We're not sure. All we know is when Beyonce flashes the Illuminati pyramid, the lights go out and people get thirsty. And where there is thirst, there is spare change. But where there is darkness, there is pickpocketing. And where there is pickpocketing, there is no money to buy a soda. And when there is no money, there is only one thing a thirsty fan can do-- Like.

#7 No Dislike Button

The Facebook "Like" button is another way in which the Illuminati control the world's population. The enlightened ones know that the world would surely end if there were ever a "Dislike" button. The Illuminati is determined to gather all mankind into one online community where they can be monitored day and night and eventually, weeded out. They know the majority of people would throw down mighty if one of their friends disliked one of their posts. It's all about crowd control. YOU MUST LIKE. YOU MUST LIKE. YOU MUST LIKE. YOU MUST LIKE. YOU MUST LIKE.

LIKE!

#8 Mark's Sweaty Symbol

When Facebook creator, Mark Zuckerberg got a little sweaty at the D8 conference in 2010, he MUST HAVE forgotten what evil secrets he was hiding within his sweaty sweatshirt. The pentargam-y symbol reveals Facebook's secret mission to make the world more "open and connected". Just what sort of connection is this? Who are they making the world open to? Six hundred and sixty six experts agree that the mission statement is meant to attract all those whose eyes are open, or ILLUMINATED enough to be able to read into the placement of the arrows. These arrows actually represent the pinch and zoom feature of modern day tablets and smartphones— zooming the circle outwards so that it looks even MORE like a Satanic pentagram. This is scary stuff, people.

#9 Baphomet Biter

The Sabbatic Goat has long been worshiped by the Knights Templar (bff's with the Illuminati). Here we can see Mark Zuckerberg engaging in the same ritualistic arm motions as the demonic goat. With one arm up and the other pointed downwards towards hell, there is no question that his supernatural computer coding abilities stem from his ties to the Illuminati.

#10 Satanic Cookies

Even when you're logged out, the Illuminati is using its ALL SEEING EYE to spy on you and your browsing preferences. It uses "cookies' to track everything you do and all of your emotions and dance dreams. Aside from being able to track your online activity and watch you sleep through your webcam, cookies are also used to control the population. How? By infecting all those that eat them with the diabetes (pronounced 'betes), thus killing off a large portion of the unwashed. Just look at the design of the OREO cookie. It is the EXACT same symbol from the Knights Templar organization, who are associated with the Freemasons and the Illuminati. This proves without a doubt that Facebook and the Illuminati are working together to control humanity.